This past year has been 100% intense from all fronts. physically, mentally, emotionally, academically, culturally...? (intense culture?) yes. much intensity. yet I am still alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic. I also cannot believe the things I have accomplished! I can think about my India experience as one whole experience but also very specific and vivid moments pop into my head: when I was dropped off at the train station in Jaipur at midnight to travel 400 km into the Rajasthan unknown. That is the latest India memory reeling on my head, because upon reflection--I was for too calm for such a situation. I remember sitting on my suitcase, my ukulele sticking out of my backpack, and waiting. I freak out at bus stops when I think my bus is late, I check directions a million times before getting in my car, and I am generally a little high-strung when traveling. But there I was, sitting, waiting to get on a train that didn't have any exact idea of where it would be taking me. I don't know what came over me. That absolute peace before plunging into the most--I want to say challenging, but that doesn't encompass it all...most difficult and frustrating yet most enlightening and rewarding experience of my time in India.
How on earth was I that calm? Maybe because I was so drained mentally and emotionally at that point I just didn't have the energy. But what I also remember about that transition, was my mom telling me that my time in India was only halfway over, I had another six weeks to be there and the most significant things may not have happened yet. And she was right. All of India was significant, obviously, but I often got caught up in making sure that every moment was significant, because it was happening in India. Rather than letting whatever happened, happen. To suspend control of a situation and just let it play out is sometimes difficult because I often have a vision of how something should happen. Usually I plan out situations when they are in familiar places, or with familiar people, but when you cannot fathom the context of place or people you just need to go. No expectations, no distractions.
How on earth was I that calm? Maybe because I was so drained mentally and emotionally at that point I just didn't have the energy. But what I also remember about that transition, was my mom telling me that my time in India was only halfway over, I had another six weeks to be there and the most significant things may not have happened yet. And she was right. All of India was significant, obviously, but I often got caught up in making sure that every moment was significant, because it was happening in India. Rather than letting whatever happened, happen. To suspend control of a situation and just let it play out is sometimes difficult because I often have a vision of how something should happen. Usually I plan out situations when they are in familiar places, or with familiar people, but when you cannot fathom the context of place or people you just need to go. No expectations, no distractions.
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